… is when men insist that heterosexual women actually are slightly bisexual, because they project their own lesbian/harem fantasies onto women.
I’ve always resented the dating games and the gender stereotyping rules you’re supposed to follow to get a partner. If a relationship isn’t based on honesty and open communication, why would you want it? And in the meanwhile, millions of women and men who want love and connectivity continue to be single and lonely… and women who want children might end up having to do it on their own.
Great article from The Guardian.
… these cartoons are pretty accurate, ha-ha!
Just one example here to follow up on the earlier toilet related blog posts here, but check out the rest on https://brightside.me/article/men-women-we-are-so-different-64555/
Yet again, another horrifying rape case shakes India, reminding us of the rampant violence
against women in the country. However, I think I’m mostly baffled by the lack of analyses of why these acts of violence occur in the first place. How can one expect a society to respect girls and women when families only want boys? What kind of signals does it send when the birth of a daughter is of less value than that of a boy, and mothers are blamed when they don’t have any sons? The ramifications for the country’s demography are serious, when so many female embryos are aborted. It seriously skews the sex balance in the country, and leads to a large surplus of boys and men. This leads to many men having difficulties in getting married, and women become sources of frustration and anger, which in turn leads to the horrific cases of rape and sexual violence. It also leads to an increase of trafficking of the most vulnerable girls and women, and sex slavery. In addition, how can one expect people to have a natural relationship to the opposite sex and sexuality when they live so segregated from each others, and normal interactions are restricted? When girls’ and young women’s worth only equals their chastity and virginity status?
Things are changing in the cities, but in many parts of the country, traditions and conservative gender stereotypes still prevail. Nobody wins from this, and both women and men suffer from the consequences.
I am so tired of people who asks if I am a feminist. REALLY? You are a feminist??? But you seem so nice! Sigh.
And then I have to explain again, and again, and again, that feminists are NOT man hating harpies who want world domination of women. Surprise surprise! And no, feminism is NOT about eradicating all differences between women and men. Yes, there might be feminists who hate men, but that’s like saying that all Muslims are terrorists: It’s a small, extremist group, who gives everybody else a bad reputation.
It seems like a lost battle to re-invent the word “feminism”. It is too tainted and bad-mouthed.
So what should we instead call people who just want all human beings to have the same rights and opportunities in life? Both legally, and de-facto? But who acknowledge that biologically and historically there might be some disadvantages to one sex, which requires the system to take certain pro-active measures into consideration for there to be real equity? Who don’t want to force all women to work and be the breadwinner in the family, and who don’t want all men to cry and take one year of parental leave? But who nonetheless want everybody to be able to do exactly that if they want to, and to take individual choices which break with traditions and stereotypes, without being discriminated for it? (It’s really not too much to ask for, frankly.)
So what kind of -ism should we use? “Masculism”, the counterpart to “feminism”, could be an option. But both words share the common problem that the concept itself implies the preference of one sex, even though it doesn’t necessarily mean that. “Humanism“? As good as it could have been, it does have a different meaning in how it is used today, which goes beyond gender equality. “Equalism“? Nah. Again, it can mean much more than just equality between the sexes.
Frankly, I’m at a loss. I have no idea what one should call it. Any ideas?
The Geneva II conference agreement of today allows women and children of the city Homs to leave immediately to seek safety. I cannot help but wonder why women’s lives are considered to be more valuable than men’s. It’s the same thinking which allowed women and children to leave sinking boats first, and fuels the stereotype that men’s responsibility is to sacrifice themselves and die for the greater good. Why shouldn’t women do the same?
Even if I use money every day, I would never claim to be an economist or have the audacity to write an article about finance. Even if I use a phone every day, I would shut up and listen when technicians explain to my why it’s not working. The same with oxygen… I breath it every day, but wouldn’t claim to understand the chemistry behind it. However, strangely enough, with regards to gender equality, everybody seems to have a strong opinion about it based on their own experiences, and think of themselves as authorities on the subject just because they are a gender, or perhaps because they are vaguely known in a totally different area of expertise. I wonder if people who work with gender equality ever will get any respect for our knowledge, except hear that we are “feminist man-haters”. Sigh.
I was strolling the streets of Beirut this morning when I saw this graffiti on a wall (among several others). Good, important message, still much work to do.