Today’s gender observation of the day goes to two amazing new songs by Kesha. What a comeback after her trials! The first is a beautiful song for all survivors who experienced physical and mental abuse out there. The second is just pure girl power. I could listen to them all day! Enjoy!
I’ve always resented the dating games and the gender stereotyping rules you’re supposed to follow to get a partner. If a relationship isn’t based on honesty and open communication, why would you want it? And in the meanwhile, millions of women and men who want love and connectivity continue to be single and lonely… and women who want children might end up having to do it on their own.
Great article from The Guardian.
… these cartoons are pretty accurate, ha-ha!
Just one example here to follow up on the earlier toilet related blog posts here, but check out the rest on https://brightside.me/article/men-women-we-are-so-different-64555/
Many thanks to my colleagues who introduced this song to me today! Several interesting gender references!
Here are the lyrics:
I met her in a club down in old Soho
Where you drink champagne and it tastes like
a cherry-cola
She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice
she said Lola L.o.l.a. Lola
La La La La Lola
Well, I’m not the world’s most physical guy,
But when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine
oh my Lola, la-la la-la Lola
Well, I’m not dumb, but I can’t understand
Why she walked like a woman and talked like a man
oh my Lola, la-la la-la Lola
La-la la-la Lola
Well we drank champagne and danced all night
under electric candlelight
She picked me up and sat me on her knees
said good boy, won’t you come home with me ?
Well, I’m not the world’s most passionate guy,
But when I looked in her eyes, well, I almost fell for my Lola
la-la la-la Lola,
La-la la-la Lola
Lola, la-la la-la Lola
la-la la-la Lola
I pushed her away
I walked to the door
I fell to the floor,
I got down on my knees
well I looked at her and she at me.
That’s the way, that I want it to stay
And I always wanted it to be that way for my Lola
la-la la-la Lola,
Girls will be boys and boys will be girls,
It’s a mixed up, mouled up, shook up world except for Lola
la-la la-la Lola
Well, I left home just a week before
and I’d never ever kissed a woman before
But Lola’s mine and took me by the hand
Said good boy gonna make you a man !”
Well, I’m not the world’s most mascular man,
But I know what I am I’m glad I’m a man and so is Lola
la-la la-la Lola,
La-la la-la Lola
la-la la-la Lola
Lola, la-la la-la Lo-la, la-la la-la Lo-la,
Lola, la-la la-la Lo-la
My gym (Sats Elixia) has a number of training videos online for members who want to do training at home, with everything from tabata, cross training, barre to pilates.
https://www.satselixia.no/trening/online-training/
In most of the videos there are three persons demonstrating the exercising, normally with mixed sexes. But the yoga actually has three men! If you have ever attended a yoga (or pilates) class, I’m sure you have seen that most of the participants are women. Men might perhaps think that yoga is not tough and hard enough for them. So perhaps the choice of instructors was to dispel gender stereotypes?
In any case, this was a nice and refreshing change.
So, someone posted this video clip on Facebook. At first glance it looks funny and upbeat. But then… count the number of male versus female dancers. Just do it. Especially how many of the clips which aren’t of large groups dancing. There are almost no female dancers. How come? Is it because female characters are supposed to be pretty and cute, and not do goofy movements? Or is it because most main characters in movies are men? Or did the person who made this mash up only focus on the male dancers? No matter which one it is… it’s sad.
Take a look:
http://www.bestworthy.com/someone-got-a-bunch-of-movie-clips-and-played-music-over-it-the-result-is-amazing/
Yeah, cause a man who belittles your feelings is every lady’s dream come true…
All I’m saying is that I hope this doesn’t set the standard for the rest of the book. You’re hereby warned.
… of getting pictures of half naked women shoved into my face every single day. Consider boycotting H&M.
Yet again, another horrifying rape case shakes India, reminding us of the rampant violence
Street art in India, Pondicherry
against women in the country. However, I think I’m mostly baffled by the lack of analyses of why these acts of violence occur in the first place. How can one expect a society to respect girls and women when families only want boys? What kind of signals does it send when the birth of a daughter is of less value than that of a boy, and mothers are blamed when they don’t have any sons? The ramifications for the country’s demography are serious, when so many female embryos are aborted. It seriously skews the sex balance in the country, and leads to a large surplus of boys and men. This leads to many men having difficulties in getting married, and women become sources of frustration and anger, which in turn leads to the horrific cases of rape and sexual violence. It also leads to an increase of trafficking of the most vulnerable girls and women, and sex slavery. In addition, how can one expect people to have a natural relationship to the opposite sex and sexuality when they live so segregated from each others, and normal interactions are restricted? When girls’ and young women’s worth only equals their chastity and virginity status?
Things are changing in the cities, but in many parts of the country, traditions and conservative gender stereotypes still prevail. Nobody wins from this, and both women and men suffer from the consequences.
I am so tired of people who asks if I am a feminist. REALLY? You are a feminist??? But you seem so nice! Sigh.
So what should we call it?
And then I have to explain again, and again, and again, that feminists are NOT man hating harpies who want world domination of women. Surprise surprise! And no, feminism is NOT about eradicating all differences between women and men. Yes, there might be feminists who hate men, but that’s like saying that all Muslims are terrorists: It’s a small, extremist group, who gives everybody else a bad reputation.
It seems like a lost battle to re-invent the word “feminism”. It is too tainted and bad-mouthed.
So what should we instead call people who just want all human beings to have the same rights and opportunities in life? Both legally, and de-facto? But who acknowledge that biologically and historically there might be some disadvantages to one sex, which requires the system to take certain pro-active measures into consideration for there to be real equity? Who don’t want to force all women to work and be the breadwinner in the family, and who don’t want all men to cry and take one year of parental leave? But who nonetheless want everybody to be able to do exactly that if they want to, and to take individual choices which break with traditions and stereotypes, without being discriminated for it? (It’s really not too much to ask for, frankly.)
So what kind of -ism should we use? “Masculism”, the counterpart to “feminism”, could be an option. But both words share the common problem that the concept itself implies the preference of one sex, even though it doesn’t necessarily mean that. “Humanism“? As good as it could have been, it does have a different meaning in how it is used today, which goes beyond gender equality. “Equalism“? Nah. Again, it can mean much more than just equality between the sexes.
Frankly, I’m at a loss. I have no idea what one should call it. Any ideas?
Gender Observations 