The ultimate mansplaining…

… is when men insist that heterosexual women actually are slightly bisexual, because they project their own lesbian/harem fantasies onto women.

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India: It’s all connected!

Yet again, another horrifying rape case shakes India, reminding us of the rampant violence

Street art in India

Street art in India, Pondicherry

against women in the country. However, I think I’m mostly baffled by the lack of analyses of why these acts of violence occur in the first place. How can one expect a society to respect girls and women when families only want boys? What kind of signals does it send when the birth of a daughter is of less value than that of a boy, and mothers are blamed when they don’t have any sons? The ramifications for the country’s demography are serious, when so many female embryos are aborted. It seriously skews the sex balance in the country, and leads to a large surplus of boys and men. This leads to many men having difficulties in getting married, and women become sources of frustration and anger, which in turn leads to the horrific cases of rape and sexual violence. It also leads to an increase of trafficking of the most vulnerable girls and women, and sex slavery. In addition, how can one expect people to have a natural relationship to the opposite sex and sexuality when they live so segregated from each others, and normal  interactions are restricted? When girls’ and young women’s worth only equals their chastity and virginity status?

Things are changing in the cities, but in many parts of the country, traditions and conservative gender stereotypes still prevail. Nobody wins from this, and both women and men suffer from the consequences.

Let’s invent a new word!

I am so tired of people who asks if I am a feminist. REALLY? You are a feminist??? But you seem so nice! Sigh.

So what should we call it?

So what should we call it?

And then I have to explain again, and again, and again, that feminists are NOT man hating harpies who want world domination of women. Surprise surprise! And no, feminism is NOT about eradicating all differences between women and men. Yes, there might be feminists who hate men, but that’s like saying that all Muslims are terrorists: It’s a small, extremist group, who gives everybody else a bad reputation.

It seems like a lost battle to re-invent the word “feminism”. It is too tainted and bad-mouthed.

So what should we instead call people who just want all human beings to have the same rights and opportunities in life? Both legally, and de-facto? But who acknowledge that biologically and historically there might be some disadvantages to one sex, which requires the system to take certain pro-active measures into consideration for there to be real equity? Who don’t want to force all women to work and be the breadwinner in the family, and who don’t want all men to cry and take one year of parental leave? But who nonetheless want everybody to be able to do exactly that if they want to, and to take individual choices which break with traditions and stereotypes, without being discriminated for it? (It’s really not too much to ask for, frankly.)

So what kind of -ism should we use? “Masculism”, the counterpart to “feminism”, could be an option. But both words share the common problem that the concept itself implies the preference of one sex, even though it doesn’t necessarily mean that. “Humanism“? As good as it could have been, it does have a different meaning in how it is used today, which goes beyond gender equality. “Equalism“? Nah. Again, it can mean much more than just equality between the sexes.

Frankly, I’m at a loss. I have no idea what one should call it. Any ideas?

 

Testicle size reveals bad fathers and cheating husbands?

A new study from Emory University in Atlanta, USA, indicates that men with smaller testicles spend more time with their children, and are more faithful to their partners. The researchers believe the link is the level of testosterone in men and their behaviour. However, the question remains: what comes first – testicle size or behaviour?

Photo: Syda Productions NTB/ SCANPIX

Well, good for ladies to know what indicator to look for?

Read the full study here

Do women and men breath differently?

Apparently the ujjayi breathing in ashtanga yoga is different from women to men. At least that’s what my male yoga teacher told me today when I asked him for more in-depth explanation: “You’d better ask (female colleague), she can explain it better for women.”

Yes, I can understand that various positions might affect women and men differently considering our different physiology. But… breathing? Oh well.